In the beginning...

2006-11-13T18:41:00.000-08:00

Today this friend of mine slyly suggested that I should start a blog. Shortly thereafter, he mentioned that he had started one himself. (Using women's intuition, I immediately understood the motive - "You read my post, I'll read yours".) When I asked him why he had started a blog he confessed "Well, I want to start writing daily, and I just can't get excited about it unless I know someone might be reading it." This man's name rhymes with voyeur, by the way.

But it got me thinking... There's a lot of good material out there, in the daily dealings between Shirts and Skirts. In good Irish tradition, I find nothing so natural or amusing as a good story told on your spouse, especially when it involves my beloved spouse, hereafter referred to as Himself. (As you know, no self-respecting Irish Catholic, recovered or not, uses the spouse's name in story- that would be akin to bedroom talk.) With anonymity mostly preserved, and catharsis intact - blogfession could soon replace the box.

(Here's a good time to give acknowledgement to one J. Sprocket, whose own blog unwittingly inspired me, by example, to set free these spousal yarns spinning in my head.)

But first, in the interest of fair and balanced coverage, let's give a nod to the male perspective, in this case not inspired by my spouse, but rather a dear friend who might seem familiar to you. To get rapidly to the point - it's just not fair that women get so much attention and sympathy, as victims of male exploitation. Vastly under-pitied are the countless men on pins and needles, all un-dressed for female exploitation, with nary an exploiter in the crowd. It's can be downright devastating, I hear. In the words of one exhibitionist, "Look, man, it's not just a walk in the park."

But back to the spouse, and to setting the record straight about free counseling, as it applies to Shirts and Skirts.
Myth #1: Free counseling can save you money.
Fact #1: This would violate the law of conservation of spending, which is that no amount of postponement or distraction will change the amount of money burning a whole in your spouse's pocket.
Case study in point: A while back, I was enjoying the morning paper and a strong cup of coffee, when I happened upon a column dispensing free advice to couples. "If you or your spouse spends over $300 on a single purchase without consulting with the other, you have marital money trouble!" I figure I'll float this by Himself, so I read it aloud, and receive a grunt of acknowledgement as he downs his eggs and toast. The following week, I come up behind Himself clutching a credit card, surreptiously tapping away at the computer. My curiosity is picqued; "What are you buying?" I ask. "A speaker" he announces proudly, if a tad guiltily. "Just one? I thought they come in pairs" I observe. "They do." (Here, I notice a wicked grin flickering at the corners of his mouth.) "This one's $298, and I'm buying the other one tomorrow", says he.
Learning point: Prospective doses of wisdom can and likely will be misused by a spouse. Hold your cards a little closer, gal, and chalk one up for the Shirts.

Shirts vs Skirts

In the beginning...